I quickly remembered that I can't actually cook anything and realised that we had no food that was in a ready-to-eat state, so I grabbed a powerade to rehydrate myself from the walk out to the kitchen, and sat down at my computer to watch the final stages of it booting up.
At 1210pm, Jay walks downstairs and enquires as to the location of the rest of the guys in the house. I look at the clock to make sure I hadnt woken up early and inform him that it was indeed 10min after the scheduled start of his tournament, and that I imagined the others had left some time ago. To his credit, he did not seem to be all that perturbed by this, and proceeded to call a cab and off he went.
So I'm contemplating an afternoon session of playing online and neglecting the chores I had set for myself (wash clothes, have shower) when I decide I wasn't particularly in the mood to grind online stuff so I went and put the washing in, then found myself bored when I came back, so I fired up some tournaments.
Played the $55 Turbo H/U on FTP for the first time, got a bye Rd1, crushed some guy Rd2, then ran into a guy who ran hotter than the sun in Rd3 and busted.
The FTP turbo $216 was 6max today, which I dont usually play, but decided to break one little rule during my stay in Vegas and fired it up. Instantly jusmped out to a nice stack and carried that through to being chip leader with 30 left where I made what was probly a pretty bad reship with A7s vs a cutoff raiser; then lost the rest on the bubble QQ
Then the FTP $59KO SuperTurbo - my favourite all time tournament. I doubled early and doubled again shortly after. I doubled several more times and found myself the chip leader. I ran hotter in this tournament than I have in my life, winning every race, every 70/30, every 30/70, and having imbeciles shove 25bb UTG into my AA. I had more than double the second stack for quite a while. I then play a hand where I raise up AA, a guy shoves like 22bb next to me, I call, he has the AQ. Flop KJT, turn Q, river X, chop it up. From there on, it was all downhill. I lost a pot for like 1/3 of the chips in play 15-handed with JJ against TT and AT, the AT getting there and leaving me with about 20bb. With 13 left an aggro guy opens, I ship A9 and he snaps with the AA and I lose.
It's good to know that I've already won every flip I'm likely to win in Vegas and it won me $263.48
After showering (ticks off chore list) I decide to go shopping to pass the time before the ballers get home. I discover how truly difficult it is to simply order a taxi here. I wondered how Jay had made it look so easy, and the thought of all of Las Vegas consipiring against me stayed in my head for more than a moment. Not being one to back down from a challenge, I (90min later) jump in a cab and set off for the outlet mall at the top of the strip.
This place was pretty neat. Had all the brands you would expect, although I was pretty much only interested in the Polo Ralph Lauren store. I was surprised to find that it was not the absolute furthest store from my position at the head of the cab rank, and after a quick walk I was greeted by a flamboyantly homosexual hispanic man at the door, welcoming me to the store and asking me my name. He went on to enquire "So Clarence, what are you looking for today?", and was surprisingly cordial when I told him in my deepest possible voice that nothing other than a quiet browse through the entirety of the store would do.
We in Australia are kept in the Polo Ralph Lauren dark. There were many styles I had not seen before, so to peruse the entire store took me some time. The other bonus of shopping in America is, everybody here is fat so they actually have a decent range of stuff in my size. I ended up getting 2 T-shirts, 3 pairs of shorts, and 7 Polo shirts.
Unsurprisingly, when it was my turn to be called down from the checkout line to the register, rather than drawing the hot looking chick in the purple top and tights, I drew my new raging homosexual hispanic acquaintance. After I had skilfully kept conversation to a minimum he informs me that if I was to spend another $90 at the store, I would receive a $100 discount voucher.
His notion intrigued me, and I was led to ask him whether I could apply said voucher to my current purchases, or whether it was simply a hollow scam to get me to come back to the store another time, and invariably spend a butt-load more coin. He giggled heartily at my insinuation and assured me that the voucher could be insta-redeemed. I quickly picked out a perfume/aftershave pack, a pair of jeans, and another T-shirt and thanked him for his help and scuttled out.
I decided that very instant that I required some new golf shoes; and walked down to the Nike factory. On the way, I passed a charming young hispanic lady outside a tobacconist concession who had left her post to stride right up to me and ask me if I smoked. Unable to think of anything wittier than "uh, not really, no", I was relieved when she opened the door to the conversation again by following up with "Are you sure?". Wow, what a question. I remember wondering to myself how many people hit straight back with "you got me, I smoke like a fucken chimney - in fact I'M SMOKING RIGHT NOW HA HA" before remembering that I'm in America and people here don't have the smarts for that kinda thing. I guess I must have mumbled something that made her laugh (or it was her slowest day on record and she needed to sell another lighter before she could leave; either are possible) but I didnt have time to capitalise as out of the corner of my eye I see a group of large Hispanic men eye-balling me which prompts me to wish young *insert stereotypical female hispanic name here* a good evening and walk away as swiftly as my poorly-fitting thongs would take me.
The Nike factory had a good range of shoes and I was home in no time, to find that Watts and Tony had busted the 6max event. Steve followed soon after and we were lucky enough to have Tony grill us up some food before everyone kinda decided to sleep.
Golf in the morning then off to Roy/12er's house to catch up with those guys. Tony is playing the $1500PLHE, and I assume Jay will too. Steve will likely grind online and ship something to restore a bit of dignity to the house.
Next event is the $1500NLHE 3x shootout which should be fun.
Hope all is well back home.
pics of homosexual ralph lauren guy
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